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New Shih Tzu Owner
Your Mission
If you decide to
accept it is to,
Photograph your New Shih Tzu Puppy!
1. Remove film from box and load camera
2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash
3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle
4. Choose a suitable background for photo
5. Mount camera on tripod and focus
6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth
7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera
8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees
9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with the other hand
10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens
11. Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash
12. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose
13. Put magazines back on coffee table
14. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head
15. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage
16. Jump up in time to grab puppy by the scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside! !"
17. Call spouse to clean up mess
18. Fix a drink
19. Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning and...
20. Listen to your new Shih Tzu puppy as he wanders off mumbling,............................
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"I'm a Shih Tzu, you want me to do what? Pose for pictures, me, pose for pictures, what pictures? I ain't got to pose for no stinking pictures!" |
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